Woah. It’s been over two years since I wrote for this little corner of the internet. Let’s be real, though. What’s been worthy of blogging about over the past two years? I’m sure some would disagree with me, but we all lived through/are living through the pandemic. We’re all living through changing times with new thoughts on all things cultural (BLM, LGBTQ+, Vaccines/Masks/Virtue Signaling, Roe v. Wade, etc) and we all have our own takes and opinions. Last I checked, not once have I seen a blow hard on the internet change anyone’s heart/mind on these deeply values-tied issues.

So, what has been going on that doesn’t immediately create a “my opinion vs. your opinion” conversation?

Something we can all agree on… TIME.

I’m approaching the big 4·0 in a few weeks.

I am 100% confident and comfortable with saying that out loud. I’m a proud elder millenial (thank you, Iliza Shlesinger for such a fabulous phrase). Besides, how else can you shamelessly brag about making it through 20ish years of life without Google UNLESS you are honest and upfront about your age?!

So, as this new decade of life approaches…

What is hard about seeing a new decade coming around the bend?

• Hello, random back pain from sleeping in a slightly different position!
• Hello, old lady elbow cracking every time I point or reach for something!
• Hello, looking at a college aged girl in shorts that barely cover a booty cheek and thinking, “how is that not chaffing? how is that comfortable? Oh to be 20 years old again!” <– yup. Because that was twenty damn years ago! And also chaffing is real, y’all. It is REAL.
• I don’t FEEL the age of my years. I still feel very confused about taxes, despite filing for decades now. I am confused by my own medical insurance/coverage despite paying for it for decades. Do I figure it out? Of course. I’m an adult and have to be a problem solver, but I suppose I thought that I would be a little less confused at this age.
• I’m more aware that my parents are getting older, too. They’re in reasonably good health, but these two have served as my strong and sturdy pillars for 40 years. There’s more mentions of doctor appointments and little ways that they’ve changed just serve as a reminder that time stands still for no one… not even your heroes.

What is silly about seeing this new decade?

• I’m more (and more) aware of facial creams, serums, moisturizers and every other tonic on the market that promises the elasticity of my youth. And yes, I’m on the quest to actually find the best I can afford.
  • Speaking of elasticity of my youth, anyone else out there putting collagen in their coffee? Ya know, for your skin and joint health?! Just me? Cool, cool, cool.
• I’m obsessed with TikToks that teach me about make-up products that are best for “mature skin.” Hello, cream based products and sayonara (most) of my powder products!
• I’m obsessed with home cleaning TikToks, too. They are so satisfying and totally a version of therapy.
  • I seriously want that dang O’Cedar mop/bucket situation now. I mean, I would use it, but like, would I really use it to the level these folks are? I don’t know. I just want it. Help!

What can I categorically say I’ve learned throughout my (dang near) 40 years?

• Find time for yourself and drop all guilt around a “healthy no.”
  • I know “fomo” is a big deal for some people. I’m still guilty of feeling those “fomo” vibes. However, we all need to know our limits and boundaries and be able to say “no” when we feel it’s best. By no means am I saying “no” all the time, because for me, that’s unhealthy. Let’s be real. I’m almost 40. I’m in bed by 10 most nights, which means I start the prep work (see first bullet under previous question) around 9:30. I can literally feel tired when I think about what a night of “going out” can be. But… and this is a big but… if I always say “no” to those invitations, I’m limiting something that I care about…
• Find time for your friendships
  • Few things fill my cup as well as time with my friends. I was recently visiting with one of my oldest and dearest friends and we were talking about what we will look like when we’re in our 70s. We both feel like we will still have the same sense of humor (some potty jokes are just timeless, y’all), we will still be sassy in our own ways, and we will look like 50 year olds because we’re laying the groundwork with all the tonics and toners now. Our personalities shone throughout this conversation and the absolute belly laughs and giggles had both my cheeks and stomach hurting. That’s worth a “yes” every.single.day in my book.
• Find time for your family
  • Slight caveat before I get into this one, remember your boundaries and when you need your time/space. However, you only have so much time with the people you love. I’m so very fortunate to have an amazing immediate family and then a huge, wonderful and loud extended family. They are the only ones who will ever really get your background and dynamic, so make time for them and love them.
• Stop giving a rip about people and things that are not worth your headspace.
  • Full disclosure: I have “learned” this to be true, but still have a hard time applying it. However, when I am able to write off those unpleasant people/experiences as “whatevs” — pure bliss.
• Figure your own s^%# out.
  • It’s hard. It’s uncomfortable. It requires a LOT of honesty with yourself and a LOT of straight up self awareness and reflection.
  • I can say that I know me.
    • I know my triggers, my pettiness, my stubborn tendencies, my jealousies, my insecurities, and my fears. I don’t let them own me like they once did, but I do have to be honest with myself and face them head on.
    • I also know my strengths, my talents, and my worth. And I’ll be damned if I let myself forget them.

So, there it is. This is 40, y’all.