One day last month, for a slight second, I had one of those awful-in-the-pit of my stomach feelings.  I read a truly troubling message on my phone, cringed, and then kind of laughed at it.

Yes, friends, I read my “Memories” feed on Facebook.

“Memories” is a neat funny weird little component of FB that reminds us of all the thoughts or pictures or articles that we shared on this day back in whatever year.  As a former history teacher and lover of all things “primary source,” I have a fondness for such a component because it’s our digital footprint and story.  Just think of what fun tidbits we would know from Ernest Hemingway or Amelia Earhart if they tweeted/status-updated their daily life.

However, as much as I can appreciate such historical figures, I wonder if they would have been as absolutely petty, dramatic, vague, and just all around ridiculous in their 140 characters as “Memories” has (consistently) proven me to be.

What caused the cringey, awful-in-the-pit of my stomach emotion today?  I give you Misti, circa August 2007.

Misti is “so glad to know that she’s not even really considered anymore. shweet.”

Here’s the added crux to the whole story — I actually have a really good memory and I can recall EXACTLY what led to such a passive aggressive dig at my friends.  And y’all – it was so stupid.  It was literally about a few friends wanting to go to this party/event the same weekend as my actual birthday and I felt like they were totally ignoring me and I was going to get.them.good with such a bitchy, immature, and petty Facebook status.  (We did actually hang out on my birthday and I did end up getting my way, but it was completely at the cost of being THE WORST.)

After kind of laughing at it, I told my coworker and she said something along the lines of “Oh what things would 2018 Misti say to 2008 Misti?”

I have MANY things that I would love to go back and say to 2008 Misti.  In fact, I’m sure most of my adult life, I will be able to think of things that I’d like to say to both teenage Misti and 20-something Misti.  However, right now, here are the top five nuggets of wisdom I’d like to impart on her.

5.  Don’t drag your personal drama into the digital world.  Seriously, don’t do it.  If anybody takes pleasure reading it, it will come at a cost to you.  And basically anybody else won’t care and you’ve just made a complete jerk out of yourself and potentially ruined friendships.  Instead of being passive aggressive online (or in person), just deal with it head on.  Your heart will thank you.  As will your friends.

4.  Spend some time with your grandparents.  I lost all three of my remaining grandparents from October of 2014 to April of 2017.  I was especially close to my Mamaw and Papaw (who passed, respectively, in October 2014 and February 2016).  I miss them so much each and every day, and I know they loved me.  I just wish I had more time with them and wish I could tell them just how wonderful and special they are to me.

3.  Be yourself.  I think when I was in my 20s, I was trying so hard to impress people and I would say (basically) anything to show how “cool” or “interesting” I was.  Dude, that is exhausting.  I think it’s natural for us to want to impress others or to seem interesting, but not at the sake of losing who you are.  Embrace all the cool-geekdom and shake the haters off.

2.  You can say no.  That is some powerful stuff right there.  I would love to go back in time and tell myself “Just say no” (thanks, Nancy Reagan) to anything that I do not have in my heart to do.  Mental and emotional sanity are precious and “no” is a life saver!

1.  I recently read a quote on Twitter that read (literally), “no offense but if someone is excited about something & u make them feel stupid for being excited about it, ur the worst type of person.”  Don’t be this person.  Go up to number 3 on my little list here.  I would totally make fun of someone if they were doing something that I considered “lame” and not even think anything about it.  When I say “make fun” — I mean that I was kidding around with a friend.  I wasn’t bullying anyone.  But still, that’s the lamest thing you can do.  If someone enjoys playing “Dungeons and Dragons” — COOL! I mean it! Do you know how complicated that game is and how friggin smart you have to be to get it?  Or even how invested you have to be to play it?  Better yet, who the heck am I to judge, because y’all — I totally went to a HARRY POTTER CONVENTION last month.  And I bought a wand.  What of it?! Bottom-line: Never blow out someone’s light because you’re too uncomfortable in your own skin.  Never blow out someone’s light because you judge what makes them shine.  Never.ever.ever be that person.